The majority of the issues children have when they grow up are how their parents raised them. This is how big of an impact different parenting styles have on children. It is refreshing to see the younger generation raising children in happier and more accepting homes.
This is because the parents of this generation have been through rocky situations themselves. They don’t want their children to experience the same, so they try their best. Statistics say that millennial parents are better than gen Xers, especially when providing for their children. Studies find that millennial parents are more prepared for their children’s college funds than parents in previous generations.
Needless to say, parenting is a lot of work. Before your child is born, you have to take care of yourself. Eat healthy food, enroll in prenatal care services, and be ready financially. It’s a big responsibility.
Regardless of which generation you are from, if you want to become the best parent to your children, there are ways you can do it, like by exploring self-help books. Other people’s life advice might do wonders for your family life.
“How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber
An unhealthy home is always depicted as a place where a lot of screaming takes place. And it is true. If you want to facilitate healthy communication at home, this book is worth checking out.
This book mainly targets parents, but the advice it contains can apply to other interactions in your life. This will teach you little tips to start incorporating non-violent communication at home. You will find exercises and stories within the book that will help you communicate with your children better.
Here are two lessons you will find in the book:
- Listen to Your Children Intently: Give them attention when they tell you something, don’t fake it. Put away any distraction. When they know that you are genuinely interested in their stories, they will find it easy to open up to you.
- Solve Conflict through Cooperation: When they make a mistake, tell them why what they did was problematic. Let them figure it out instead of spewing negative words and accusing them of things. Your words are powerful. One small hurtful thing you say to them once, they will remember for the rest of their life.
“The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind” by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, and Tina Payne Bryson, MD
It is frustrating for parents to deal with tantrums, meltdowns, and breakdowns, especially if the reason for such behavior is unknown. This book will help you navigate your child’s emotional episodes from the perspective of neurology.
Let science guide you in dealing with times when your children act out. This book will teach you how to alleviate the situation by engaging either the brain’s left or right side.
Some ways to do this are storytelling to help them understand their emotions, giving them loving touch, and validating their feelings. You will learn that empathy goes a long way. Screaming at your child will not help them solve the issue. They might stop crying out of fear, but that doesn’t help at all. It is better if you let your child know that you are willing to help solve the problem.
“The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Dr. Shefali Tsabary recognizes that parents have to take care of themselves first to become better parents. They have to untangle their issues first. This is the rationale behind this book.
The main goal of Dr. Tsabary, who is a psychologist, is to help parents become more self-conscious. It is through this sense of self-consciousness that parents make good parenting choices. This book also recognizes that perfect parenting is an illusion.
The relationship you should be going for isn’t parent-to-child but instead parent-with-child. It’s more of a partnership than a vertical relationship where the parents are consistently above the children. You will learn that you are raising a person capable of so many things; you are not raising a mini version of yourself. You don’t own your kids in any way. This principle will help you parent each child in a way that will help them meet their needs, not yours.
The parents of this day were also kids in the past. You also went through a lot of things that are hard to unlearn. However, the fact that you are reading this makes you a very good person. It’s hard to break the cycle of toxicity, violence, and ignorance. But here you are, wanting the best for your children. You should be proud of yourself.